In a recent Supreme Court decision, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court decided that corporations have all the rights of individuals when it comes to campaign funding. Taking this to its extreme conclusion, a PR company named Murray Hill Inc. has decided that, if there’s no longer a limit to how much they can indirectly control politics, they might as well just make things simpler for everyone and do it directly. Exercising their new rights as a “corporate person”, Murray Hill is running for Congress in Maryland’s 8th district.
I think this is a landmark even in American history, and may signal an end to decades of persecution against corporate persons. No longer will corporate persons be treated as second class citizens, unable to assert their God-Given rights. At last, the dream of a perfect democracy and the dream of our founding fathers, where every vote has its appropriate market value, may become realized! It’s only a matter of time before other laws, designed solely with the intent to persecute corporate persons, become repealed. And maybe-just maybe- in another few decades…. A corporation for president? If Obama could do it, why not Microsoft?
But even with their noble goals, Murray Hill is having to fight an uphill battle against anti-corporate bigotry. Many have been quick to point out that Murray Hill, established only five years ago, does not meet the age requirements to run for Congress (At least 25 years old). But do age requirements really need apply to a corporate person? As stated on the Murray Hill campaign blog, “The constitution does not define how to calculate age, but simply states a minimum age. Corporations are not bodied persons because we are complete from day one and do not have a meaningful age in any way a bodied person would calculate. No infancy, no immaturity, no waiting until a corporation is 21 to buy beer. There is also no distinction between corporations on the basis of age, so a corporation does not ask an older corporation to buy beer on its behalf.” But to make things even worse, just this morning, Murray Hill announced that their registration had been rejected by the state of Maryland, due to the fact that they are a corporation, not a human being. What is this, the 50s? Barring someone from participating in our country’s fine democracy simply due to the fact that they aren’t a bodied person reeks of bigotry. Murray Hill has stated that they are preparing legal actions to defend their right as an American corporation to control our government. I ask all readers to put their full support behind Murray Hill Incorporated, in hopes that we may enact real change in our system, for a brighter future for us all.
(Note: I originally didn’t think I’d need this bit here, but after witnessing the reactions of many people whom I told this story to, I realized I had underestimated our culture’s belief that all corporations are mindless, evil abominations constantly scheming new ways to steal our freedom. Yes, Murray Hill Inc is a corporation that is running for a seat in the United States Congress. No, they are not doing it as a means to seize power for corporations all across America. Murray Hill’s campaign is a form of protest against the Supreme Court’s decision in “Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission”. They are doing this to bring more publicity to the matter, and their use of legal action is to bring the topic back into the courts, in an attempt to get the decision repealed. Amusing as it would be, they are not seriously trying to become elected. I spent 20 minutes arguing with a girl who was convinced that the Supreme Court and Murray Hill were working together on an evil scheme to seize control of the American government before I was finally able to convince her that they weren’t being serious about it. Come on, people. Their campaign video contains the line, “However, as much as corporate interests gave to politicians, we could never be absolutely sure they would do our bidding.” I think this country seriously needs to get its ability to detect sarcasm checked.)
Ahhhh, I have been enlightened. And its genius and well done. In many ways, its showing what I've always wanted to see in our economy. Namely, corporations with an interest besides making money. This is going to be a drain. They're getting lawyers for a single state. This won't be cheap at all, but they're doing it because they're contesting the law in a new, creative way. Hats off to these people.
ReplyDeleteI actually talked with one of my professors about the possible benefits of allowing corporations to run for offices. Not that it's going to happen, because of the whole "corporations aren't people" thing, but it was actually rather interesting. And not nearly as dystopian as most media portrays it as.
ReplyDeleteEh, I've got issues with it. Too much incentive to pass legislation to only pass what benefits the company. Plus it politicizes the workplace, which is in of itself an issue. What if the corporation you work for runs under a Republican ticket and you're decidedly a Democrat? Plus, if they can serve as elected officials then nothing stops them from taking other positions, like Supreme Court Justices or the local Board of Education. Its easy for them to push out competition if they can raise their own campaign funds. It would increase the likelihood of special interest spending as well, and the power of the government to make things incomprehensible could get even worse. Now each congressman is a team of 100+ people who can work to make a legally complex law code, and as corporate lawyers they'd definitely have the experience.
ReplyDeleteBut perhaps my biggest issue is the execution of it. Say a corporation does in fact become a Congressman. There's a very good chance this would dramatically gum up and slow down congressional processes. How does the Corporation vote? Who in the Corporation as a whole has to agree? The Board of Directors? If they must communicate together to make decisions for the corporate entity, it'd be a sub-referendum within a bigger referendum. If they choose someone by proxy to cast votes (like, say, the CEO or a specially chosen official) then not only is it about as bad as a regular corporate drone but made worse because the corporation raises its own funds for the campaign, but it makes the process decidedly less democratic because the individuals who voted for the corporation don't get to choose the individual who votes for the corporation by proxy. You vote Murray Hill, Murray Hill gets to choose who calls the shots. Its like voting on a blank check. And beyond all of that, the corporation has more power over the individual who votes by proxy because his job is controlled by the corporation. See, a Congressman gets paid. It's his job. If the corporation is legally the one presiding over the seat, then technically nothing stops them from firing the man who is voting by proxy. So if Murray Hill's proxy votes or does something that Murray Hill doesn't like, they can fire him and kick him out of Congress before his term is even over.
While I completely agree with what you're saying Damios, one thing I think that might be interesting is that a corporation WOULDN'T have to run under a Republican Ticket or Democratic one... necessarily. I think one of the next greatest stages in democratic evolution, for sustainability and strength, must be discarding political parties.
ReplyDeleteI fear it shall never happen though.
Well I phrased that poorly. It has less to do with parties and more to do with ideologies. What if your corporation votes for abortion rights and you personally disagree, or vice versa? It causes unnecessary politicization of the work place. So instead, imagine every corporation acting as its own political party.
ReplyDeleteCue the headaches.
I share your sentiment on the parties though. It encourages voting without thinking and political alliances that just add to the pain and suffering of American political processes.
We weren't saying that corporations in government were all good, for some of the reasons you brought up, Daniel, just that it wouldn't be the Shadowrun dystopia people seem to imagine.
ReplyDeleteYeah, true. Course a big part of Shadowrun was that magic was real. The fireball kind that is. which is a shame. Plus there was no government in Shadowrun. That's why Shadowrunners existed at all. And why they had Lonestar.
ReplyDelete